It just would not have been the same without you...
Thank you Mr. wedding photographer (Jeff): You boldly snap glorious photo after photo, silently stalking your prey. Where is the bride? You know where she is.
Thank you weird DJ with the red hair: You play the crocodile rock, you act enthusiastic, but really you are thinking about the bomb you are building in your basement, and the small child you kidnapped trapped in your closet at home.
Thank you Murray: You selflessly offered the young children beer and cigarettes and managed to out drink, smoke, and talk everyone. Murray and Paula are officially invited to every party I ever throw for the rest of my life.
Ah the "Little People" Yes those are my grandparents, a testament to true love, they have been married since the dawn of time, and no they are not midgets.
Thank you hot bartender: You graciously pour drink after drink, You transform the wedding guests and party into sweaty people that love everyone and like to cry. and you are hot.
Thank you Justin: Right when we thought the party was settling down, going home, you rip off your shirt and start dancing like a rock star! Did I see you doing the worm?
Thank you cheese tray: Note to self: cheese gives people gas...next time steer clear of the cheese before the wedding. Also: blame gas on the small children.
Oh Allison! A party is not complete without a little Padgett interpretive dance...and you are the master. All other interpretive dance pales in comparison. Thank you Ali for showing up to the brunch the next morning in a Betty Ford Clinic T-shirt!
Grandpa: Thank you for not beating-up any of the groomsmen or anyone else, we have all heard the story.
Thank you tanning beds: You turn our pale skin into bronze beauty. The equator called...and they want their sunlight back. Actually, some of these pictures kind of make me look like I'm not of this country. Absolutely nothing in moderation!
Mr. Jim Beam: Thank you for giving Johnny the courage to bust out some mean step touching to Footloose.
Thank you Dad...you are the king of speeches, I mean seriously you could make Lucifer cry with a toast or a greeting card.
Thank you weird tennis shoes. Yes, you guys all have weird looking tennis shoes. Bobby were those Air-Jordan's, '94 style? That was hot.
Thank you sedatives: I don't know what kind of muscle relaxer mom took, but she needed to have about five more, because I feared for my life before the ceremony.
Thank you groomsmen: For throwing the after party, where, it is said a lot of inappropriate behavior took place involving swimming pools, bath tubs, and super human extremities.
