So how are you adjusting to having two children?

People ask me this all the time.  Why wouldn’t they?  I’m curious too.  How am I adjusting? 

I (we) are pretty much constantly in survival mode. Feed children. Clean children.  Repeat.

But this is not what I tell people when they ask.  I normally focus on the positive, “It’s great.  It’s so much easier adjusting to having a newborn when it’s your 2nd”.  Which is true. 

What I don’t say is that when my children go to sleep I high-five myself in my mind for making it through another day and keeping them both alive.

Take something as simple as going to the grocery store.

Johnny and I went to the grocery store for the first time today together since Lucy was born.  I put Lucy in the baby Ergo (baby carrier) and Grace in the cart.  But I didn’t just “put” Grace in the cart, there’s always a tantrum, or , “that’s not the right cart”, or she wants to sit in, “the big part”.  But after all that…she was in the cart. We get into the store, and Johnny was all walking around like he had all the time in the world, moseying down each aisle. 

At one point he was comparing prices on all of the 400+ different types of coffee and I finally had to say to him, “Honey…you do not realize that I have a 14 pound human time bomb strapped to my chest, and we have a 29 pound grenade bouncing around in our cart, pulling cans of beans and corn that we do not need off the shelves. Get your coffee…and we have to get out of here.”

Normally when I go to the grocery store with both the girls it’s like some covert-secret-military-operations- crap.  Get in, get out.  With as few casualties as possible.  We don’t have time to “look at ingredients”, or  “go back to that other aisle”.  WE are on a Mission. 

Johnny didn’t know.  Why would he? (it was his first assignment;).  It’s the "little stuff" that is really actually big stuff, that takes getting used to. Not that one child is easy.  But I would go ahead and say that two is twice as hard. 

Taking both my kids with me to my dentist appointment. So that happened.

I’m running late.  Shocking.  I have a dentist appt at 1.  I  grab a zip lock bag and literally pour the rest of my preschoolers lunch into it.  We’re taking lunch to go today.  I put my 11 week old (Lucy) in her car seat that weighs 80 pounds and we are out the door. 

I have not showered.  Heck…I’m not sure that I showered yesterday either.  I have not combed my hair.  I AM wearing a bra and I DID brush my teeth…so I have that going for me. 

I get to my dentists office and lug my car seat, my baby, my preschooler, and my gigantic diaper bag inside.  While in the waiting room I hand my daughter the remains of her lunch and watch her dig around in the Ziploc bag full of peanut butter sandwich and cheese.

The dental tech calls me back and we get situated to clean my teeth.  The baby is immediately crying and Grace is letting me know that she HAS A HANGNAIL AND ITS GOT PEANUTBUTTER IN IT…CAN YOU GET IT MAMA?!!!!

“Play with my phone Grace” …I watch in horror as she smears peanut butter and cheese all over my iphone.  But she becomes quiet. 

I am now feeding the baby (Lucy) under a nursing cover while reclined in the dentist’s chair with my mouth wide open as the tech cleans my teeth.  I think this is the point where my peanut butter covered child thought it would be fun to jump on my leg and pretend it was a horse. 

They cleaned my teeth for about an hour while all this was going on.  And no cavities!!! 

When we were finished I gathered up my kids, made sure that my boobs were inside my shirt, and literally ran (or hobbled with stupid dumb car seat) out the door. 

Lucy June Hietter…My Miracle Baby

In honor of Lucy’s 9 week old birthday, I’d like to share a story about our little miracle. 

On September 4, 2013 I was 9 weeks pregnant.  Johnny and I were absolutely over the moon planning for baby #2.  That morning I woke up with really bad cramps and  I was bleeding a lot.  I called Johnny (who was at work) in tears and told him that I thought we were loosing the baby. 

We immediately called our Doctor. Her office instructed us to go to Cox Urgent Care.  We showed up at Urgent Care in tears.  The whole family did.  My mom and dad, my sisters, my brothers.  Everyone was there.  We waited the usual BS inordinate amount of time to see a Doctor. During this time we called my Doctor’s office twice just to make sure Urgent Care was where we were supposed to be. 

Finally the Doctor walked in.  I was still bleeding a lot.  He checked me and confirmed that I was, indeed having a miscarriage.  My cervix was open and we were loosing the baby.  I remember feeling like I was floating.  Like I was looking in on someone else’s life that wasn’t mine. 

I had already cleared out a bedroom for the nursery.  The baby had a crib.  This baby had a place in my heart and how could it be gone? 

Johnny and I just cried.  We walked into the waiting room and the whole family cried together.  My mom held me and assured me that my baby was in heaven with all of the other babies that have been lost, including hers.

That night Johnny and I grieved together.  I think I drank a bottle and a half of wine.  We stayed up late talking with each other and just got drunk. 

The next day my mom sent me flowers.  She brought over a big Starbucks Coffee that morning and we just sat on my couch and cried together.  I managed to go on a short run to try to sweat out the stupid amount of wine I drank the night before.  While I was running I remember blaming myself.  If only I hadn’t done this. Or that.  I had closed the door to her nursery.  I’d deal with that later.

The Urgent Care doc instructed me to follow up with my obgyn in the next week or so.  I called her office and they said they could get me in that afternoon…or I could wait until Monday (it was a Friday).  I decided to get it over with and just go. 

I think the appointment was at 3. I remember looking at all of the other pregnant girls in the waiting room and being so jealous.   The nurse called my name, I went in, and they took me to the ultrasound room.  I was lying on the table and made a conscious effort NOT to look at the screen.  I just wanted it to be over. 

The ultrasound tech did the belly-gel stuff and said, “and I see a baby.  See.  Right there.  She looks good.”

“Wait…what?  No…that can’t be right.  They told me she was gone.  What?” I was stunned.  What!? And I was crying.  Again. 

“No, she’s right there.” The tech was almost as confused as I was.

I was then taken to a room and pretty much immediately a nurse and my doctor were in to see me.  They confirmed that yes, my baby was alive and looked healthy.  They said the bleeding was caused by a hematoma in my uterus, and they apologized profusely for the confusion and negligence on Urgent Care’s part. 

This was my miracle.  I figure, we all get one real miracle in our lives if we’re lucky.  And Lucy is my miracle.  I’ve never experienced such a gamut of emotions in such a short amount of time.  I thank God everyday for my children.  And I thank God that Urgent Care doctor was wrong and I have a happy, healthy nine-week-old baby to prove it.