If someone would have said to me at this time last year, “ Hi Amy…just wanted to let you know that this is this last night you and your husband will ever have out as non-parents/ expecting parents.” Really…I doubt I would have done anything differently. I remember our last night out. And it was awesome. I think we ended up at The Boogie. Enough said.
So that was almost one year ago exactly. Crazy how things can change. I now no longer spend a fifth of my income on cigarettes (I quit). I can’t remember the last time I slept 6 hours straight. And I am certainly not a size 4.
I was feeling especially good about myself today and decided to try on a pair of my pre-pregancy jeans. I quickly realized… THAT was a pipe dream. I told my thighs and myself that we would be okay.
So miss Grace and I went shopping.
I’m a big fan of baby wearing. I wear my baby everywhere and today I wore her to T.J. Maxx. I knew that I had a very finite window of opportunity to pick out the perfect outfit. I walked in the store and tried to politely acknowledge the, oh-what-a-cute-baby stares and politely ignore the less friendly, she-brought-her-newborn-baby-shopping looks.
Grace is an excellent shopper. She was awake the entire time was and acutely aware that the ceiling at T.J. is much different than any ceiling she’s seen before. I gained at least 15 minutes right there. I eyeballed clothes that may or may not fit over my hips, I grabbed as much as I could carry, and headed to the dressing room.
The girl attendant asked me if I wanted the, “ family room”. Which is cool because I felt very V.I.P. Not really, but it was much larger than the normal rooms and had to be unlocked with a key. I took Gracie out of her sling and did a wee bit of nursing to keep her happy…then I set her down and began trying on clothes.
Picture one crazy sleep deprived lady…jumping around…wiggling in and out of clothes, simultaneously making every silly face in the book to keep baby happy. That was me.
Grace found this very entertaining. She was smiling and laughing and kicking. Man, I love my baby. No joke. Anyhew, I found my outfit and then it happened.
Grace pooped all over herself. Of course I’m not totally inexperienced. I had a diaper bag with a change of clothes…in the car. She pooped right before we left. The look on her face was priceless. It was, “Well, that felt good Momma..but we need to do something about this RIGHT NOW…”
Crap. Poop.
I took my poopy (and then screaming) baby outside to change her clothes. Again, I got some stellar looks.
I sat in my car with my baby and wondered if I was the only mother on the planet whose child pooped in public.
I’m not a quitter and I decided to re-enter the store, minus the poop, and purchase my outfit. I felt like I had won some sort of race. Go me.
Grace was happy as a clam and her momma learned that shopping…and really everything with a baby…is a whole different animal.
