So I'm 26 years old…Past my quarter-life. Some people are surprised I made it, and at some point I really didn't think I'd make it to 26 years old.
Age 8- If you sit on a hot exhaust pipe, you will be tattooed with a permanent ring. I was scared of VW Bugs for years because of this incident.
Age 10- If you are not an Olympic diver and you are 10, do not attempt a double backward flip off the diving board.
Age 12- I'm still looking for the gang of wasps that built a nest under my bicycle seat. This was a nasty, nasty crash.
Age 16- When trying to jump hurdles…make sure you know what the hell you are doing…because if they are turned backwards they don't fall over on impact, they just kind of slice your legs all to hell.
Age 18- The director encourages the performers to stay away from the edge of the stage for a reason…falling into the orchestra pit is embarrassing as well as painful.
Age 21- If you haven't studied for a final be sure to wreck your bicycle on the way to class and show up for the test with torn jeans and bleeding all over the place, if possible faint too.
Age 22- This marked the beginning of my lets-try not-to cut-your-fingers-on-bottles, beer caps, or broken glass era. Wounded bartenders really don't make the best cocktails. Sorry sir, let me get you another vodka tonic, minus the blood, and this one is on the house.
Age 23- Music festivals are great fun, try to stay out of the trees, at some point go to bed, and if someone offers you a ride on a golf cart…decline immediately. And when you go to the hospital with a fat lip and concussion, don't have your dad take you.
Age 24- People do not bring hard liquor on float trips for a reason.
Age 25- As I have said before, it is imperative not to throw water on a grease fire. I couldn't walk for a week or so because my feet were burned so badly.
No comments:
Post a Comment