My Honda, my Honda, wherever I go she goes too. My Honda and me!

I recently started a new job in Branson. I have always enjoyed driving. Every morning when I leave Springfield for work I feel like I'm going on a mini-road trip. I have my BIG coffee, a banana, and my on-my-way-to-work playlist that rocks. I love the drive down 65, especially on foggy mornings. It is gorgeous.

The part about the drive to work that I don't like so much is my car. Don't get me wrong, I take care of my little Honda. I give her all of her oil changes and vacuum and wash her once a month. I'm pretty sure she is still pissed off at me for the 2004 "ooops that was diesel fuel" incident. Or she could be a little upset about the time that I put a watermelon in her trunk and forgot about it…for about a month. The subsequent mess of fruit flies and stickiness might have created some resentment.

We do really well going down the big hills; however, going UP the big hills is problematic. Every time I start the decent up a hill I have to turn off my air conditioner and shift down to fourth gear. I know it makes my Honda feel inadequate and embarrassed when she sees all of the other vehicles with the little V6 decals pass her going over 40mph. Sometimes I just give her a pat on the dash and tell her, "little Honda, it's all right...all of those guys might be fast but they are paying twice as much to drive from Springfield to Branson."

One of my friends once described my Honda as "persevering as though it possesses a dream of martyrdom." We have been through a lot together. And I am planning on driving her forever. That is unless I win the lottery and am able to buy a super-hybrid car that runs on corn or water or poop or something.

Seriously... the best hybrid anybody could ever come up with is one that runs on doo-doo. It's the ultra-renewable resource. We are never going to run out of sh*t. Ha! I can just see Johnny and I in 10 years with our hybrid poop car, "Honey, we're driving to St. Louis today...I hope you didn't eat any cheese last night." Or "We're running a little low on fuel…better head to Mexican Villa."

Alright, that was fun. Well, I guess I'm basically done here: I like my new job. The drive isn't bad. I want my Honda to be able to run on feces. Happy 4th people!