1. Google maps lie.
2. Cannot consume an entire pot of coffee before work because people will think you are on drugs.
3. Instant messaging means that people CAN see things as you type them.
4. I am not allowed to have unsupervised girl's night out anymore with Ali.
5. Sometimes when the label says "All Natural" it really means "You will have diarrhea for 2 days."
6. It is not a good idea to "explore" Jamaica alone. And if a guy named "Sea-ray" approaches you on the beach, do not make eye contact.
7. Duct tape is the best invention ever in the entire world.
8. Apparently eating two large pizzas in bed with husband at 2am on wedding night is not the norm. But it is delicious. We got breadsticks too.
9. When they say, "Don't take your digital camera on the float trip"…consider not taking the digital camera on the float trip.
10. Lime-A-Way will turn your eyebrows freaky-neon-orange. And Lime-A-Way doesn't care when you're getting married. So when scrubbing bathroom…keep hands away from face.
11. The universe does not want me to have a driver-side mirror.
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