Padgett Family X-Mas

Padgett Family X-Mas
My family celebrates on Christmas Eve. The festivities include a listening to Manhiem Steamroller, plenty of alcohol, and this puppy chow snack mix that is absolutely addictive. We open presents…usually my dad makes at least two or three comments that lead me to question whether or not he did too many drugs in the 60's and Ali blatantly informs us that she will be exchanging 85 percent of her gifts.

Let's not forget the awkward glances between the boyfriends/husbands and my father when my sister's and I pull out our "Christmas Underwear" from Victoria's Secret out of our Christmas stockings. Santa has been giving us lingerie for about ten years now.

My mother and my younger sister's are highly skilled present wrappers….I on the other hand got the short end of the stick in this area. You can always tell the present is from Amy if it is a) shoved in a bag that says "Happy Birthday" or b) If the gift looks like Taylor (my 2 year old niece) wrapped it.

Christmas day we return to the Padgett Family household to enjoy a fancy steak dinner. For some reason we begin dinner by opening these little exploding presents that contain a lame joke and a colored paper crown (you would have to see it to understand)….

Dinner conversation usually includes a few wildly inappropriate topics…we normally try to stick to drugs, sex and bowel movements.

We don't try to be perfect and we have a damn good time doing it.

This year we ended our family Christmas watching the critically acclaimed "Padgett Family Video" . (now available on DVD)…Masterfully edited by dad and put to the Dirty Dancing Motion Picture soundtrack. The video is a rare glimpse of what life was like growing up as a Padgett…with scenes like: "Debbie breaks her tail bone at Abby's Skate Land birthday party", "Parents drink beer and children run around wearing trash bags on rainy camping trip" and "Curt shows no mercy to his eight and nine year old daughters on the soccer field"

The last few years we have had at least one non-family/non-boyfriend guest join us for these celebrations…this year it was Justin…bless him…and please don't judge me by my nine year old rendition of Gloria Eseffan. And I had to read a lot of books to get those Pizza Hut sunglasses!

I feel there is only one phrase that can sum up our glorious Padgett Family festivities…as my father so eloquently put it back in 1989:
"It smells like throw-up in here"….Translation: When is dinner ready?
"Gee thanks Curt"….Translation: If you do not get that camera out of my face you will be wearing your dinner tonight…

I Love My Family!