Today I was on my lunch break, waiting in traffic, when I look over to my right and there is a massive spider dangling from the ceiling of my car.
Green light...shit, stay calm. So I swatted at him, and he fell in between my legs...and I was wearing a skirt! So now I am seriously freaking out. I pulled on to one of the streets right off Sunshine, and I began the oh-so-tribal spider dance....that is, jump up and down, flap my arms, scream, run around in circles and smack myself. If I had not been on one of the busiest streets in Springfield I would have ripped all my clothes off too.
Now I feel like an idiot. I mean I feel really stupid. No joke, people were laughing and pointing at me.
I get back to work, I'm sitting at my desk, and I grab my purse to get my lip gloss. That little bastard is swinging from the bottom of my bag! I scream bloody murder(again), did the spider dance (again), and threw my purse against the wall.
No one else was in the office this afternoon. It was just the spider and I...mono e mono. I was wearing some pretty serious heels and feared that if I threw one I might knock a whole in the wall. So I reached for the air freshener. I put my game face on, picked up my mangled purse and waited for my nemesis to emerge.
When I saw his little hairy ass run for the corner I started squirting him and eventually febreezed him to death.
You got served biiiaaatch!
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